Vulgar Food

Food that bites back.

roasted garlic and tomato bruschetta
“I think I have everything set here, there’s really no need for you to help. Of course I don’t think you’re unable to help — I know it wouldn’t kill me, I just — okay, fine! Here — sprinkle the tops of the bruschetta with the Parmesan. This IS the Parmesan — what do you mean ‘where’s the green bottle?’ Can you just…sprinkle, please. What are you doing? I’m sorry, but that is not sprinkling — um, THAT looks like dumping. Come on, you said you wanted to help! SPRINKLE THE CHEESE. SPRINKLE, like, gently place six or seven shavings onto each slice. What?”

roasted garlic and tomato bruschetta

“I think I have everything set here, there’s really no need for you to help. Of course I don’t think you’re unable to help — I know it wouldn’t kill me, I just — okay, fine! Here — sprinkle the tops of the bruschetta with the Parmesan. This IS the Parmesan — what do you mean ‘where’s the green bottle?’ Can you just…sprinkle, please. What are you doing? I’m sorry, but that is not sprinkling — um, THAT looks like dumping. Come on, you said you wanted to help! SPRINKLE THE CHEESE. SPRINKLE, like, gently place six or seven shavings onto each slice. What?”